


One Way Ticket

by maidesu



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 09:38:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15660591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maidesu/pseuds/maidesu
Summary: Ash's perspective during events occurring in Volume 12 - 14.





	One Way Ticket

**Author's Note:**

> The featured song is "One Way Ticket" (Japanese version) by ONE OK ROCK. Special thanks to @nikiforovlynx for the [Connect AU](https://twitter.com/nikiforovlynx/status/1024148391184551936) that introduced me to this wonderful song on Eiji's travel playlist.

The night that Eiji was shot in their apartment was when it all came crashing down. Of course Ash had always known that they could not stay together forever. Still, Eiji’s persistence in spite of his attempts to send him back to Japan and his selfishness lulled him into thinking that he could stay by Eiji’s side. 

Eiji had said it was alright—just a scratch. Ash knew that Eiji would try to spare his feelings, but he believed Eiji’s words. Blanca had only fired a warning shot. He wouldn’t forgive anyone that seriously hurt Eiji, even if it meant going up against his teacher. It would be over his dead body. 

Ash did not have the heart to wake Eiji up to tell him he was leaving for the last time. He was terrible at goodbyes. He took the cowardly approach again, just like when he left without a word to face Arthur. Yau-si claimed he had no pride when he pulled the gun trigger without a second thought. Pride had nothing to do with it. He was no good without Eiji. If he could no longer be with him, he might as well be dead and at least have his death settle everything. His life had only something worth living, better than a prostitute or a killer, with Eiji by his side. 

As Ash drove away after seeing Eiji run outside in pajamas trying to catch him, he could only think about how he wished he could be with him. He knew where had to go, but he had never felt so lost. 

====

Dino had thankfully provided him with his own room. After being bitten when he tried to force a kiss, Ash mused that maybe Dino was worried about something else being bit. He sprawled out on the empty bed, reflecting on the ride back from Carnegie Hall. It seemed that Dino was only somewhat aware of how important Eiji was to him. Ash was telling the truth when he said that he did not purposefully leave his fingerprints when he kidnapped Professor Dawson. However, it wasn’t because he was in a rush. Leaving Eiji had made him such a mess that he was not thinking straight and was careless. While the work that Dino assigned him was repulsive enough to make him feel sick, being apart from Eiji was the real reason he could not bear to eat. He could only hope these half-truths would continue fooling Dino and keep Eiji safe. 

If Ash was of sound mind, starving himself to death would clearly be a foolish idea. All he knew was that he wanted to go home. Anywhere Eiji went, that’s where his home was. It was probably delusional, but he liked to think that at least his soul would be able to travel to wherever Eiji was if his physical body could not. He read about a samurai from Izumo that committed suicide to allow his soul to reunite with his friend on their promised day in a Japanese folktale that Eiji had shown him at the library. Those Japanese people sure were masochistic.

He had plenty of time to think over the past week as he laid in bed with an IV that was force feeding him. Time flowed as slowly as the fluid drip and was just as boring. He wished that things could go back to the way they were, living together with Eiji in their apartment. Even when he stayed out late killing countless people, Eiji would be up waiting for him. They slept and woke up together. Ash tried to return early on Saturday night because he reserved Sundays for exclusive time together. Sunday plans were always easy; it was the day that he indulged in whatever Eiji wanted to do so that he would have a respite from being cooped up all week. Eiji would serve natto and other “healthy” food for breakfast. Maybe they would do the crossword or go sightseeing. Small moments of reprieve like those were how Eiji stole his heart. It was only after seeing New York through Eiji’s eyes—standing next to him and through his photographs—that Ash felt any semblance that New York could be home. 

====

Blanca told him that he had signed a contract with Yau-si. His teacher was a secretive bastard but he never did or said anything for no reason. Instead of figuring out what Blanca had meant, a memory came to him unbidden. 

Ash remembered a Japanese lesson that Eiji gave him. There were many different ways to say goodbye in Japanese. In particular, “sayonara” had the connotation that the two people would never meet again. Surely, if he said that to Eiji, he would go back to Japan and forget about him. What they had together would be lost, and Ash knew that he would never be able to have another relationship like the one had with Eiji. 

What had he said that last time he spoke with Eiji? Then he realized. Eiji would never accept such a half-hearted goodbye. He would definitely come for Ash unless he told him in no uncertain terms that it was over. 

“Freeze!”

Even though Ash couldn’t see, there was no way he would not recognize that voice. This was insane, suicidal. But he didn’t care. He needed his one way ticket home.


End file.
